Routinely Unpredictable

I’ve gotten into a little routine. Whoever thinks “unemployment” means you have nothing to do is incorrect, at least in my case. In fact, I haven’t fully felt the psychological effects of “unemployment” yet because, since I got home from Ecuador, I feel like my mind has been buzzing nonstop in a whole new direction. That said, I am consistently sleeping past 8 am — something that has almost never happened to me — and I am taking longer to sip my coffee in the morning. I read articles I would otherwise skip, and I stay in my sweatpants and flip-flops just a tad longer than I would normally. And you know, it’s quite nice. For now.

I’ll keep this relatively short. (Big fat lie.)

Stained Glass Window. Pampas, Argentina

Things are good. I’m going to information sessions left and right for post-baccalaureate pre-med programs (and no, I am not planning on going to med school…), doing a ton of online research, and studying for the GREs. I am trying to figure out how to earn a little money while life is in flux, and attempting a bit of freelancing, which would be really fun to pull off. I have moments of such excitement for my new plan, followed by moments of slight anxiety when I realize how much I have to accomplish over the next six years.

I always thought of myself as someone who could commit to another person very easily, but committing to my own personal career plan is a little trickier. The truth is, I haven’t had a plan beyond a year, or even a few months, since I graduated — by choice, for the most part. I’ve been living life flying by the seat of my pants (did I say that correctly?). I’ve been here, there, up, down, anywhere I wanted whenever I wanted, and now, I’m giving up a little of that freedom to live on a whole other planet for a while — Planet Relative Stability (eek). Giving up the ability to live spur-of-the-moment is a bit scary for a girl like me. But it’s also necessary, and a welcome change of pace.

During the past five and a half years since I graduated, I’ve been living exactly the adventurous life I always craved and wanted. It’s been a dream, complete with ridiculous over-the-top local and international romances, mini-tragedies, and self-discovery. Even though a lot of you keep quiet about what’s going on in your lives, I know I am NOT the only one out there who has been on a wild and unpredictable ride these last few years. And, although I don’t plan to fully leave the adventures (and romances) behind (EVER – although just one long romance would be ideal), I’m happy to step off the rollercoaster for a bit to allow some other doe-eyed new graduate with better knees to get on. (I’ve already warmed up the seat!) I’ve got those chapters of my memoir covered. Now I’m just trying to set up the next ones. Boy do I think this is going to be a good book!

Headed towards Cotopaxi Volcano. Cotopaxi Province, Ecuador.

If I’ve learned anything, it’s that even the best plans are packed with mystery. The fact is, I wax and wane between being totally overwhelmed with what I want to accomplish over the next few years, and completely excited. (I’m not alone on this – right?!) But that’s the beauty of being 27 and never knowing what’s next, no matter how much you try to plan. While maybe, occasionally, I admit that it can be completely intimidating (yes, that is how I feel right now), it’s also pretty exciting to build mountains for myself to summit. But standing at the base and looking up, well, I can safely say that yes, it can be scary. But when was the last time  fear stopped me from doing anything?

Off I go.


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