My quads burn, the sweat is literally dripping down my shoulders and neck. I am wearing my tightest ‘dex (spandex, that is) and I’m climbing the biggest hill of my SoulCycle workout, swaying from left to right with nothing but goals in my mind.
I’ve jacked up the resistance as high as my legs will allow. Everything hurts a little, but in all the good ways. I feel alive when it hurts a little. When you are forced to push yourself, you realize how much is there. I want to push harder but I feel a little nauseous in the steamy, candle-lit room. I’m surrounded by 50 other riders, but I’m spinning my own race. This song is playing (see bottom of post) and I’m thinking about everything I want to accomplish, everything that’s hurting, everything I’m climbing and burning for, and yet all that I’m really worried about is each pedal turn, one turn at a time, left then right… So, I keep pedaling.
I climb, but on a stationary bike there is no end point that you can see. You close your eyes to find it. As much as I want to get to the top, I love the burn along the way. It lets me know I’m working towards something… towards everything.
One week from tomorrow, I’ve got Biology Midterm II. This is my chance. This is my opportunity to redeem myself from the last one. I’ve got to fight for it and it’s going to hurt along the way, but I’m pedaling and I’m feeling good and comfortable in the burn, in the sweat, in the fight to the top. I’m ready for this one. More ready than I was for the last one, at least. I’m loving the new material (genetics), I’m excited about doing this challenge all over again, and I’m still pedaling, giving it my best, because man do I want to be at the top of this hill again. I need to remember what it feels like. And I’m the only way to get there.